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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149495">File A Complaint</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarsstanakin/pseuds/StarWarsStanakin'>StarWarsStanakin (starwarsstanakin)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Dubious Morality, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, I mean really slow burn, Insanity, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Major Original Character(s), Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Character Death, Murder, Naked Female Clothed Male, Nightmares, POV Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Psychological Torture, Slow Burn, Stalking, The Force, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, degrading</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:48:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarsstanakin/pseuds/StarWarsStanakin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello everyone who is reading this or has read it, I lost motivation in writhing this fic due to not liking where it was going but I have ideas for it now and I will be changing quite a bit this week I hope you enjoy ♥️</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Chill of The Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I will be doing notes at the beginning of each chapter to discuss what happened in the previous chapter so if you want anything talked about or clarified leave a comment. I will update weekly or bi-weekly. I will updating the tags as we go so I don't spoil anything. I Hope you enjoy.<br/>Setting: You are a recently promoted Officer to look over and be in charge of maintenance and construction at the Star killer Base.This will take place before and during The Force Awakens.<br/>As a reminder there will also be unhealthy relationships in this story and if you or someone you know is in a unhealthy relationship here are some resources. The domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)<br/>https://www.medicinenet.com/domestic_violence/article.htm#domestic_violence_facts<br/>These types of relationships should only be enjoyed through fiction.<br/>** I will be updating and revising chapters 1&amp; 2 no major changes will be made only revisions to help with story flow.(8/29/20)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I have revised this chapter to add more context and details nothing major to the original plot has been changed. I hope you all enjoy.<br/>We are introduced to our reader. Reader will be using she/her pronouns but in order for as many people as possible to identify with reader I tried to keep descriptions vague. Now to the summary.<br/>Reader is having some nightmares now what could they mean? a warning? or just a nightmare?<br/>Reader is starting her first day on the job but will she make it there in time?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I revised this chapter and I'm starting to revise chapter two. I just wasn't happy with writing or flow of things. I've added a bit of detail into things to really set the scene and to flow better. Hopefully things are explained better. As always thank you for reading and if you notice any errors please let me know.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I open my eyes to see I’m surrounded by darkness; I feel strange. An eerie feeling fills my body. Lifting my arms to check to make sure everything is OK, I bring my hands in front of my face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>One, two, three, four, five ok so I have all my fingers and the rest of my body looks fine, but where am I?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I look around my surroundings to figure out where I am but all I see is darkness. It's below me, above me, it surrounds me, just an endless sea of darkness. Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of movement, but when I turn to find it there is nothing there. Something is here with me in the darkness... A feeling forming deep within my chest calls to me, no, pulls me as if every bone in my body is being pulled towards it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> I move towards the source of this feeling, hoping to get some answers. I take this opportunity to figure out what I remember last, but my mind is blank as if the beginning of my memory is the darkness. Glancing down at my feet as I walk, I notice it's almost as if I'm walking on air, yet I feel the ground underneath my feet. I continue towards the mysterious force, the closer I get, the stronger the feeling is. Goosebumps prick at my skin as I get a chill that seeps deep into my bones, this isn't a normal chill this feels like death my heart beats faster as I feel the frigid air travels down into my bones and veins. I can’t move any further, as if I hit a wall. Looking around, I notice a presence has formed within the darkness. It's darker than the surrounding black, the more I stare at I notice it changes sizes and shapes, but it remains humanoid. My heart racing, it almost seems as if it’s going to beat out of my chest. Sweat dripping down my neck, a feeling forms deep in the pit of my stomach, making me feel nauseous and on edge. “Um hello? Who’s there?” I squeak out, my voice is meeker than expected. I do my best to swallow my fear. I mentally prepare myself to ask again when from within the presence comes a sinister laugh that sounds so evil yet welcoming if that's even possible. “He will find you, y/n'' the voice bellows from within the darkness, the voice seems to bounce around and echo all around me. The tone of his voice sends a shiver down my spine. I want to run away, but my feet won't move. I'm trapped. I begin to hyperventilate. I'm so terrified I want to leave, but I can't move. My panic worsens when suddenly I feel someone is right behind me staring at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I get a prickling feeling starting at the back of my neck that moves down my spine and into my stomach, I quickly turn around to face what I think is the voice in the darkness, but no one is there. Realizing I can now move, my fear takes over. I take my chance and run as fast as I can. My feet pound on the ground as I run faster than I imagined possible. I do not understand where I'm headed, but every nerve in my body is telling me to run, to get away as fast as I can. As I’m running more voices emitted from the darkness “You know I can take what I want right?” The new voice speaks again “I’ll show you the dark side.” The first voice returns, laughing, “He knows who you are now, you’re dead. You should’ve never let him in.” I stop running, feeling defeated. I know running will get me nowhere. The darkness is never ending. “Please I’ll do anything but please tell me what you want from me PLEASE.'' I scream as I drop down to the ground, pulling my legs to my chest in the fetal position, I can feel the tears roll down my face. The first voice laughs even louder, but this time it's different, the laugh seems to swirl around me suffocating me. I feel as if I'm being choked, but there is nothing there. Shutting my eyes as tight as I can, I felt my breath slip away. The panic sets in as the laughing is no longer surrounding me, but it's within my head. A bright red glow comes in front of my face with the heat of 1,000 suns. The heat becomes so unbearable I feel like I'm on fire and my skin is about to melt off. Then I feel an excruciating sharp burning pain rips through my chest causing me to let out a  blood curdling scream. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is what death feels like. I’m going to die.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly I sit up in a cold sweat. Gasping, attempting to regain my air, I look around. I realize I was sleeping, that I’m safe in bed inside my quarters on the Star Killer base. Still looking around, I see my nightstand to the right of me, the door leading to my bathroom in front of me, my tiny “kitchen” and the door that leads to the hallway. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, my god, was that a nightmare? It seemed so real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>OK, so I'm safe in my quarters. Kriffing hell, what type of dream was that? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I wipe the tears that are now streaming down my face. Glancing down at my pillow, I notice it's soaked with sweat and tears. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I need to shower</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Grabbing my data pad from the nightstand. I notice it’s time for me to get ready for work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yesterday I was an engineer who helped with construction and maintenance, today I am the officer in charge of the entire maintenance and construction sector. The First Order recently combined the maintenance and construction departments to save money since the Star Killer is almost fully constructed, and they needed an officer to be in charge of both of the departments. Dean, the man who was supposed to be in my position, died in an “unfortunate circumstance” but that's just paperwork code for being killed by Commander Ren. With Dean dead, I guess the higher ups decided I was the most qualified since I'm one of the last engineers on base who doesn't end up in the medical wing every other day from negligence. I have never been close enough to the Commander to be in the same room, so I know little about him other than he’s practically in charge of the first order along with General Hux except Ren is more like an attack dog with anger issues than a commander, from the rumors I hear no one knows what he looks like since he is covered from head to toe in armor, and he always wears a mask. I also know that he supposedly uses the force which no one knows what that means. You would guess if the First Order wanted to be successful in the domination of the galaxy they would have commanders with better tempers, but no, they have adult men who have anger issues with giant egos. Quickly changing my train of thought as I remember supposedly Commander Ren can read minds with the force, which I'm not all, that sure what that entails but I don't want to find out, I would like to not be beheaded before my first day as an officer. After two minutes I finally leave my warm bed, as I go to stand up I can't shake this feeling that there is someone here in my room, looking around to check but there is no one here. I know this because my front door is locked, but I simply can't shake this feeling. Pulling my blankets off of me, I move my feet to the floor, the second they touch the durasteel floor, goosebumps shoot up my legs covering my skin. Shivering, I stand up from bed. I tighten my bathrobe around me and walk across the room to head into my in room shower, courtesy of the new promotion and officer title I got moved into a room on the officer floor which is a step up from the barracks and co-ed showers I'm used to. Leaving the bed is the hardest part of my mornings due to the Star Killer Base being at a constant 50 degrees. This is because the base is built inside an entire planet, Ilum. Ilum is an ice and snow wasteland, which if you ask me a base on a tropical planet would have been a better idea. Entering the bathroom, I rush to turn on my shower before I die of hypothermia. I shiver again because the pathetic excuse of fatigues and bathrobe the first order supplies does nothing to stop the cold. My bathroom is made up of four durasteel walls with a shower head of the ceiling and a small drain on the floor. Also in the bathroom I have a tiny toilet,  with a metal sink to the left with a small medicine cabinet with a mirror above it. I walk across the closet size bathroom to turn on the shower to get the water as hot as I can stand, so I can wash away the feeling of despair and paranoia I have from my nightmare. While I wait for the water to reach the temperature of lava, I slip out of my fatigues and let the steam rise and cover me like a comforting hug of damp warmth. Sighing as I'm about to step into the water when I hear my data pad go off to alert me I have a new message in the other room. Not wanting to take the chance it’s about my first day, I trudge over to my metal nightstand beside my bed and pick up my data pad to check. It’s a message from Jacen. Feeling a flush rushes up my neck and to my cheeks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jacen is my what would I call him a booty call? No… Boyfriend?? Not quite, but somewhere in between.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jacen and I met on a wiring job when he was sent out to help me. Jacen and I are roughly the same height, which always bothers him. He has a crooked jaw line but in a cute way. He has dark curly hair and piercing green eyes. We never pursued a relationship because the first order prohibits it but I don’t think I'm ready to commit either. He is also one of the maintenance stormtroopers which now I'm in charge of, which also complicates things. Opening the message, the first thing that stands out is it's in all caps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>y/n: Calm down, I'm not even scheduled to come in for 40 more minutes. I'm going to take a shower, I’ll be there soon to dish out your orders ;)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shivering from being naked in the cold room, I set down my data pad and trudge back towards the bathroom but before I can reach the bathroom door, I get the same chill from my nightmare that felt like someone is right behind me. My heart turns to ice and fear comes up into my throat. I spin around as quickly as possible to confront whoever is here, but I see nothing other than my data pad continuing to go off from Jacen. Rolling my eyes, I turn around letting out a soft laugh at Jacen, blowing up my notifications and the absurdity of my nightmare still bothering me. It was only a dream. Once I get back into the bathroom, I stop and look into the mirror noticing the deep blue marks under my eyes which is strange because I know I got eight hours of sleep. The more I look into the mirror, the more uncomfortable I become, as if the person in the mirror staring back is not myself, I lean forwards gripping the sink hard enough to hurt my fingers, but I don't care if I keep staring at my face. My skin looks off, the color doesn't match. My eyes don't appear the same shade of (your eye color) that they usually are, they seem almost empty. I continue staring at myself in a trance-like state. At the edge of my vision, black fog comes in. As I exhale, I can see my breath in the air. My breathing becomes rapid, as if I can't get a full breath of air in my lungs. My chest becomes tight and my hands sweat. From the distance I hear a demonic crazed laughing, hearing this I snap out of it and rub my eyes. Shrugging it off as temporary insanity from the morning I've had. I step into the steaming water from the shower. As soon as the water hits my skin I feel the chill leaving my bones and all my worries from my nightmare wash down the drain along with the water. Quickly washing myself, so I'm not late, I hop out of the shower and dry off using the worst towels in the universe. Thank you to the First Order for the shower, but you couldn't at least get better towels. Glancing in the mirror, I tie up my hair into the first order mandated bun. Leaving the bathroom, I head to my dresser to grab my uniform out. My uniform consists of a long sleeved, thin, tweed, dark gray jacket which goes over a thin black undershirt, a thigh length dark gray skirt with thin black tights underneath, still shivering I get dressed. I slip on my black heels over my covered feet. Getting yet another chill, I wish I had a thicker jacket. Running my hands over the uniform to smooth out any wrinkles, I go into my bathroom to look into the mirror, so I can put on my gray cap the last touch of my uniform. Downside of the promotion, I no longer get to wear the comfy warm overalls that I used to wear while doing engineering work. I grab my data pad to check what Jacen thought was so important, reading the notifications I head out the door into the dimly lit metal hallways of the base to head to my new office.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: NO YOU IDIOT COMMANDER REN IS IN YOUR OFFICE!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly I regret that shower and not reading my messages. I continue on to the next message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: Now is not the time for you to ignore me!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: y/n answer now the commander is getting pissed!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: Well, it was nice knowing you…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I now stop mid track on my way to work with this message. Suddenly it feels hard to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacen: Your office is now destroyed. But he left… You better get here soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now it's really hard to breathe. It feels as if I'm being choked, but there's nothing on my throat to cause this. I look around the hallway looking for help, but I don't notice anyone. I grab my throat instinctively, but this does nothing to help me get air into my body. I lean up against the wall trying to catch my breath, as I do the edges of my vision go black from insufficient oxygen. I experienced the same feeling from the nightmare and earlier in my room. Not again, I'm still dreaming right, this isn't happening. Sweat drips down my forehead and neck. Am I having a panic attack? No. I have never gotten one before. What is going on my mind screams. Still gasping for air, I feel like I’m going to die. I still can't get any air into my body and when I thought it couldn't get worse, the pressure on my neck worsens. On the verge of passing out from insufficient air when suddenly my air returns and my breathing returns to normal as if nothing even happened. I fall down to the freezing metal ground of the hallway from my legs, giving out with a sharp pain landing in my knees from the impact. Still gasping I hold my throat which feels like it was crushed, the skin is sore to the touch. Tears are now streaming down my face freely. I can't hold them back anymore, my throat is in so much pain. A pair of heavy sounding boots walk into my eyesight from the ground. I go to look up at the person to explain my embarrassing weird panic attack. I smile up at the person, but my smile and heart freeze, giving me a chill of fear straight down to my soul as I realize who has just walked up to me. Commander Ren...</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll be doing notes at the beginning and end of each chapter to go over the previous chapter and what we just read. So if you haven't read the chapter above avoid the ending notes because the may contain spoilers!<br/>Hellllooo Commander Ren (; now if you enjoy toxic men the way I do you'll sure love the Commander in the fic. Now I cant be the only one who has been wanted to be force choked by Kylo Ren right??<br/>Anywhoooo away from the thirst and off to our poor reader. She seems to have run into some breathing trouble with the commander I wonder how this will go? Be on the watch out for the titles of the chapters because the title will always have a small sneak peak into what might happen.<br/>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Yes Commander</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You are rushing to get to your office because Commander Ren is waiting for you. You get "choked up" in the hallway and have a not so pleasant conversation with the commander.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We left off with reader getting "choked up" in the hallway in the previous chapter. Now im going to talk about the nightmare. Who do you think the first voice is? And what do you think is going on with our reader? As always im new to writing so i apologize for any errors I will be going back to revise and fix the errors as their pointed out or as I find them. I was too impatient and excited to wait to post a second chapter so here you go! I'm already writing the third chapter... I need a life....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Kylo Fucking Ren</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Commander Ren here in front of who probably just watched me almost die.Staring up into the black and chrome mask of Commander Ren is almost as terrifying as you would expect. His presence alone puts fear in me. I have never been in the same room as the commander and now he stands less than five feet from me, towering over me like a murderous giant. My nightmare chill returns, causing me to shiver. My eyes wander from his helmet to his shoulders, to his boots in front of me. I realize I shouldn't be staring in a situation like this, but I can’t take my eyes off of him. This man is massive, he’s easily over six feet tall. Not only is he tall, but he’s muscular, but I can't tell if that's the armor or him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder what he looks like underneath his clothes and mask. Is he human? Robot? Cyborg? Or an alien species? A Hutt?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Quickly I change my train of thought because if he can read minds then he definitely hears that. The silence between has been going on for far too long, so I clear my throat, hoping he will either leave or say something. This is getting awkward with me sitting on the ground staring up at this murderous giant of a commander. I can't see his face, but somehow I know he's giving me a look a predator would give their prey right before the kill. I can't see his eyes through the mask, but I can feel the intensity of his stare from within my chest, as if his stare is boring a hole into me. The way he stands there towering over me gives me the chills, his stance merely exudes power. He’s so fascinating, but now is not the time to ogle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps towards me. With each step he takes, booms echo down the empty metal hall, making me flinch with every step he takes. He comes to a stop directly in front of me, his black boots almost touching my hand. I could reach out and touch his leg if I wanted to, but I won't because I enjoy having my hands attached to my body. With a swift movement and a flurry of the leather cape he’s wearing, he crouches down to get to my level. Somehow he’s still towering over me. Commander Ren slightly tilts his head to the side as if he's waiting for me to say something or just inspecting me, like a bug under a microscope. My face flushes with embarrassment as I realize what a mess I must look like, my mouth hanging open with tears drying on my cheeks, my face still flushed from nearly dying earlier, as I sit on the ground at his feet, gawking up at him. I slowly let out my breath trying to calm my racing heart and I mentally prepare to speak to him, so I don’t sound like an idiot. That’s when I notice he’s clenching and unclenching his hands as if he’s stopping himself from killing me right here on the spot. The creaks from his leather gloves tightening over his hands are loud enough to hear. Now I’m genuinely worried he’s going to kill me for not being in my office. His hands are so big. One hand could fit the entire way around my throat, choking the life out of me with ease. Almost as if he senses my train of thought or my staring, he reaches a hand out and softly cups my chin. The leather of his gloves is rough but warm against the cold skin of my face. My skin beneath his glove tingles from the touch. I smile “Thank y-” before I can finish my sentence he squeezes my jaw so hard an audible “pop” can be heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pain shoots down my face and to my neck. Fighting back the urge to scream, I feel new tears pricking in the corner of my eyes. Holy shit, did he just break my jaw? He’s going to kill me, isn't he? I attempt to pull away, causing him to hold an even tighter grip on my jaw. My bones feel as if they're going to turn to dust from the pressure. I try to reach out to pry his hand off, but my hands are frozen in place at my side. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is going on with me? What is happening?</span>
  </em>
  <span> I need to get out of here. I try to speak to ask why the hell he's doing this and to let me go, but my voice comes out in a pathetic whimper noise, from his hand gripping my face so powerfully. As if he's irritated from my attempt to talk and trying to pull away ,he squeezes with more force than I thought possible. Another pitiful whimper escapes my lips from the excruciating pain. I’m trying my best to hold in a scream of pain. I bite my tongue and squeeze my nails into the palm of my hands hard enough to draw blood. I stare at his mask with a pleading look, too afraid to move or speak again, waiting for him to speak. If he wasn't the Commander, I would have spit in his face but I really don't want to die or be named a traitor to the First Order, so I’ll continue to bite my tongue. Literally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few more seconds of silence and pain, there is no change from Commander Ren. When I’m about to reach my pain limit before screaming. He finally speaks with a deep, robotic sounding voice, “Did you have trouble breathing officer?” Definitely a robot. His voice sounds void of emotion, almost like this whole situation was boring him. I try to reply, but yet again only whimpers can come out of my mouth causing my face to flash an even deeper shade of embarrassment. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He's a dick. No, he’s a monster.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Commander Ren tilts his head and leans forward onto the balls of his feet like he enjoys watching me struggle to speak from under his hand. He says something, but his voice is so low I can’t make out what he said. He finally removes his hand from my face and the hold that was on my arms release. My hands fly to grab my jaw, moving it around to make sure it's not broken, causing a sharp pain to shoot through my face. I wince. That is definitely going to bruise. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If I live through this, I’m going to have to go to the Medical Wing.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Now I’ll ask you again, did you have trouble breathing? This time I expect an answer officer.” His deep, robotic voice demands, pulling me from my thoughts. This time there is anger in his voice and that scares me. If he wasn’t angry before and did all that, I’m scared of what he’ll do when he’s actually angry. When I try to reply, I feel a lump forming in my throat as if I'm about to burst into tears. I’m such a wussy. “Yes commander” I finally choke out after way too long. My voice sounds pathetic even to my own ears.  “Stand up officer”  he demands as he slowly stands up in front of me. I begin to slowly get to my knees, my legs feel like jello, whether that's from my meltdown or the commander hurting me I do not know. The chill of the metal hallway floor bites at my thinly covered legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing up to face Commander Ren, I notice six other men in formation behind him. They definitely weren't there before. Or were they? Was I just too busy staring at the Commander to notice? If I wasn't already backed up against the metal wall of the hallway, I would have taken a few steps back to put some space between Commander Ren and I. Each of the massive men are dressed almost identical to Commander Ren, but they each have unique masks and uniforms as my eyes move from each man my brain catches up to reality. These are the Kriffing Knights of Ren… I have only heard rumors about their existence. I guess this proves they are factual. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Now I’m in trouble.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I think back to my panic attack when I searched around looking for help. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I would have noticed seven hulking men in black clothes and masks, right? They definitely weren't there, right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Swallowing my fear, I finally speak. Time to kiss ass and hopefully get out of this alive and with a job. “I’m sorry for my episode earlier, sir, I'm not feeling well this morning, but I was told you were in my office looking for me, sir?” I wait for a response from the commander, but he doesn't give one. He and his six knights just menacingly stare at me through their masks. The anger and darkness just rolls off of them in sicking waves, creating an uncomfortable tension in the air. “I’m sorry I wasn't in my office, sir, I wasn't scheduled to be in until 6:30 am, sir. Whatever you need I can have it done, sir if you just let me know what it is.” Yet again, I'm met with silence and menacing stares from masks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is this dude's problem?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He watches me have a meltdown, then practically breaks my jaw over me not being in my office, now he won’t even respond. “Excuse me sir but if you don’t need anything I’ll be heading to my office as I hear it needs some maintenance.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Prick. Hopefully he takes the hint.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I need to control my thoughts because if he can hear them, I’m as good as dead. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If you hear this commander, I’m sorry you’re not a prick...</span>
  </em>
  <span> After the words leave my mouth, I immediately regret it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, y/n, let's mock the man who destroyed your office and nearly broke your jaw.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I notice yet again he is balling his fist at his side. The leather from his gloves sounds like it's about to split open from the tension in his hands. I don’t think he took my remark well. “I require maintenance on my ship and in my quarters, but it seems the officer in charge doesn’t care enough about their job to show up and do the job they're assigned to do.” his modulated voice comes out with a condescending tone, causing my face to heat and flash a deep shade of red. “I’m sorry commander I’ll have the forms submitted, and the crews dispatched immediately, is there anything else I can do for you sir? Or can I go?” I say through clenched teeth. He takes another step closer to me, closing off what little space there was between us, causing me to flinch and push further into the cold metal wall until I’m fully leaned up against it. He leans his masked face down towards mine, so close his mask almost brushes my nose and puts and puts a hand against the wall above my head to lean closer. The closeness between us is making me dizzy. If I took a deep enough breath, our chests would touch. With him this close, I can even smell what he smells like, leather and fire. My heart races with my breath quickens as I gaze up to his mask I begin to feel a headache forming at my temple and a tingle at the back of my neck that feels like ghost fingers lightly grabbing the back of my hair, making me lean my head back even more to stare up at him. “Your mind is so empty, as if nothing is there. What are you hiding?” He whispers, his voice is so quiet I almost couldn't hear him. Still looking up at him, I tremble, not knowing how to respond. I just stare up at his mask, hoping I don't look like I'm about to burst into tears. Suddenly, he slams his fist against the wall next to my face. I flinch away to not get hit. Glancing back at him, I notice his chest is heaving. “WHY IS YOUR MIND EMPTY!? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING!?” He yells loud enough for me to feel his anger deep in my bones. My heart races so fast, I'm sure it’s about to beat out of my chest. </span>
  <em>
    <span>As if him saying I don’t care about my job was bad enough, now he calls me stupid in the strangest way possible.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Enough is enough I want out of this situation now before I get myself killed. I move under his arm to get away when he grabs my arm with the same bone crushing power he did my face. Yelping I try to pull my arm free, which is a lost cause, his grip is inhuman. Pain shoots up and down my arm. I hold it to stop the pain. I’m terrified at this point he’s going to murder me as I beg for my life. “Please let me go, sir. I’m sorry please I’ll do anything just please don't kill me. I’ll be better at my job please sir” I pathetically beg and plead to no avail. The knights surround me as the commander pulls me close to him to say one thing. “I will figure out what you're hiding, and when I do, I’ll kill you.” Letting go of my arm he turns around storming off with his knights in a flurry of black cape. Now shaking, I turn down the hallway to head to my office deep within the base, practically running to get as far away from Commander Ren as I can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The long walk gives me time to think about what the fuck just happened and to call down. I had a panic attack, the commander made fun of me for it I guess, he also almost broke my jaw and arm. I began rubbing my arm. The pain is still there. Reaching up to touch my neck I wince somehow it feels like my neck is covered in bruises. I have to walk through the Star Killer’s docking bay and notice Commander Ren’s ship is docked, and the ramp is open. As I walk past it I notice sparks flying around from within the ship. Rubbing my forehead as I continue to walk past, I feel sorry for whoever so have to assign to fix that. The commander thinks I’m hiding something. I have not the slightest idea what I could hide but I have a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach it has something to do with my nightmare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finally get to the office section in the maintenance and construction sector. I walk down the chilly office hallway and notice Jacen pacing in front of my office door. Spotting me his eyes light up in concern, he walks towards me almost yelling “You’re such an idiot the commander is going to kill you! Holy shit, are you OK? What happened to your face? Whoa, what happened to your neck?!” He says staring at me with concern. I instinctively grab my neck “Nothing I’m fine okay just tell me what happened,” he raises an eyebrow to show he doesn’t believe me. “Yea right you look like you haven’t slept in days, you’ve been crying also it looks like you got punched on both sides of your face, and then choked out. What the hell happened.” “Gee, thanks for the compliment. How about you mind your business Jacen and tell me what I asked,” I’m only saying this to him because I don’t want to say I’m a fuckup on my first day of the job and the commander wants to kill me. Sighing in defeat, realizing I will not say, Jacen strides towards my office door with me at a slow deliberate pace to explain. He lets out a deep sigh before he talks. “Well the commander came in only wanting to talk to the man in charge, so I told him you weren’t here yet but I could help him, and he said he would wait as he needs it done correctly. So I led him to your office and left, so I could message you. Obviously he's not a man with patience. After about two minutes I heard a loud whooshing noise, then the sounds of destruction. Me being the strong man I am,” I roll my eyes and chuckle. He gives me a fake, hurt expression and continues “not amusing but I stayed away because I don’t want to die. After about 30 seconds the noise stops, and he storms out and just leaves with smoke pouring out of your office.” “Wait he was alone? Was there anyone with him?” I ask, thinking about the terrifying knights with the commander in the hallway. “Um, no, he was alone. Why do you ask?” “No reason just wanted to make sure General Hux wasn’t with him, so I know if I still have a job or not.” saying this brings the realization that the commander could get me fired for this or worse, kill me like he did Dean. “Well, I'll leave you to your office. We have the dispatch meeting in 15 minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding to Jacen as he leaves me alone to deal with my office, I sigh as I slowly open my office door, groaning at the destruction in front of me. The walls of my office have deep black gashes in them, as if they were torn apart. My desk is destroyed along with my data terminal. The stress of the day finally gets to me. I start to feel dizzy and lightheaded. I feel sick to my stomach; I feel the bile starting to come up my throat. Grabbing onto the wall to stop myself from toppling over the feeling worsens before I can have time to yell for help my vision and mind go blank as I feel myself falling.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yikes, our poor reader has not had the best first day. I would like to expand that our reader has heard rumors of the force but doesn't really know about it at all or even what it does. I'm taking this approach due to during the time of the force awakens not many remember the Jedi or know those that are force sensitive who know it or even know what the force truly is. As you can figure out the force has been used on our poor reader yet she doesn't know it. I just wanted to clear this up so there wasn't any confusion. As always if you see any grammar errors please point them out and I'll fix it! I re read the chapters so many times I over look the small things. Thank you so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Deadly Obsession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is a POV from Kylo Ren's perspective. I wanted to give some insight on how I'm portraying Kylo's emotions and mentality. As another reminder i'm not writing an emotionally healthy Kylo and he is not nice. This may trigger some people because in this chapter I talk about emotional abuse, abandonment and instability. If this is uncomfortable for you to read please let me know and I will summarize the chapter for you so you don't have to read it. As always I hope you enjoy and please if anything is wrong with the chapter please let me know or just comment about what you like. Thank you for reading.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kylo Ren has some issues and we will be seeing that at play here. How will that affect our reader? We get to see some of the knights this chapter and don't worry this wont be the last time we see them. Enjoy!<br/>Now to discuss chapter two. Yikes sounds like we have someone who has an eye out for us and that doesn't seem like a good thing. Or could it be? tsk tsk that pesky little force huh?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kylo Ren sits in the pilot seat of the Night Buzzard, peering out of the glass, staring out at the endless sea of sand in front of him. Anger and rage flare inside of him as he stares, his eye beginning to twitch from the anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Luke Fucking Skywalker</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s always about Luke Skywalker</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ren you are nothing but a child who did not get hugged enough as a child, wanting to be a Sith. Pathetic. You’re nothing. You think your family name determines you mean something? It doesn't, you're nothing, you come from nothing. Nothing but an emotional child playing dress up. You'll never be like Darth Vader if you can't even accomplish one mission. Maybe I made the wrong choice by recruiting you. Take your pathetic knights and go to Jakku. Find Lor San Tekka AND YOU GET THAT MAP! DO NOT COME BACK WITHOUT IT!” His master's words still beat around his head like a swarm of Gnasps. Snoke’s mission to find the map was a dead end. It's always a dead end. Vicrul, sitting next to him, senses his anger. “You know we’ll find him, right? I mean, we are the Knights of Ren after all, and he is a scared man in hiding.” The Knights of Ren are the closest thing Kylo has to an actual family. Kylo and the knights may not act like family, but they have a universal understanding of each and what they go through. He can tell Vicrul is saying this to keep him level-headed, but it's not working. The anger and rage is becoming too much; they are taking on personas of their own, whispering into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re a failure</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're nothing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let it in</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let it take control</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The emotions coax him to let go into the rage, but he knows if he does this there is no coming back until the anger is gone, except it's never truly gone. Feeling the rage beginning to reach its apex, Kylo knows what he must do. “Leave the ship now,” he says to his knights, “Kylo don’t. We can all meditate on this to figure out another plan of action” says Vicurul as he stands up. “There is another village on the horizon. We can go there and interrogate the villagers for information” says Ap’lek “I said LEAVE THE SHIP NOW!” Roars Kylo. He knows if they do not leave the ship now, there will be a fight he doesn't want to have. His knights can wield the dark side of the force, but they are not as strong in the force as he is. They don't have the constant tearing of the soul from the fighting within himself. He wants them to leave because he doesn't want them to watch him completely come undone. The knights all look at each other with glimpses of uncertainty, but Kylo is their master and what he says goes. They trudge down the ramp of the ship as soon as their boots touch the dirt, the ramp closes behind them. Kylo throws off his helmet, it's beginning to feel too claustrophobic to wear. He paces the length of the ship. The voices swell in his head, overwhelming him. The voices are an unfortunate side effect of wielding the dark side. The dark side preys of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to strip you down to only one base, rage. Kylo doesn't want to become a mindless robot functioning on rage with no emotions, but his link to the light side grows weaker daily.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ben, we are sending you off with your uncle Luke, he’s going to help you with your connection to the force.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Leia, he doesn't need to go, he's fine, he’s only a child.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Han, how would you know if he's fine if you're never around long enough to know”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Leia, he's my son. I don't need your brother raising him.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Han Solo, you listen here, Ben needs help, and that is help we cannot give. Think about it. You’ve seen the signs.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine, but only for a few months, then he comes back.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look kid Luke's going to help you and everything will be alright”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ben, your father and I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The last words his parents ever spoke to him ricochet around the inside of him. He feels the all too familiar tingle in his eyes; he is going to cry. “No, I am Kylo Ren! Ben is dead! He doesn't exist anymore. I killed him.” He screams. His pacing becomes faster and his breathing becomes more rapid.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re so weak</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crying over a child, whose parents never loved him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I AM NOT WEAK!” Kylo screams. Finally, it's all too much. The Feelings, the confliction, it's all too much. He closes his eyes and lets in the darkness, letting it take over. When he opens his eyes, nothing surrounds him but darkness, in a room of endless black. He hears a laugh in the distance that sounds vaguely familiar, so he heads towards it. As he gets closer, he notices someone else is here with him, he instinctively puts a hand on his hip where his saber is just in case. Advancing closer, he realizes it is a girl. He's never seen her before. Her back is to him as he walks closer, he notices she is talking to something, but he can't hear her voice or who she is talking to. As he gets directly behind her, she spins around to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind comes back to him on the ship, and he realizes his saber is lit in his hands. Blinking his eyes, he looks around to notice the entire inside of the is destroyed thankfully its only surface level damage. The only part unscathed is the cockpit. The ship is still flyable but in terrible shape they need to get back to Starkiller to get it repaired before continuing on the mission to find Skywalker. Sighing, he shuts off his saber and goes to let down the ramp to let the knights come in, so they can all leave. As they come up the ramp, they look around but say nothing. “Kuruk set course to the Starkiller. I’ll be in my quarters. One of you will come get me when we arrive.” Without waiting for a response, Kylo goes into his room. His episode took more out of him than usual, and he feels drained. As he lays down in his too narrow cot, he thinks of the woman in the darkness. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did she get into my head? How did she sense me? I must find out more because if she can use the force she is a powerful ally or an enemy who needs to be killed immediately. Especially if she can get into my head. Snoke can't find out.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuts his eyes to sleep, meditating on how he is going to explain his failure to Snoke. It seems before he can even fully rest there’s a knock on the door. “We’ve arrived.” says Ushar muffled through the door. Sighing, Kylo gets off the cot and exits the room, the knights are all gathered around waiting for him. “You are free to do as you please for now. I’ll call you when I need you.” Kylo says to the knights as he pushes the button to lower the ramp of the ship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Exiting the ship, Kylo goes down the ramp into the Star Killers docking bay. As he descends the ramp, Kylo notices the ginger haired pain in his ass general waiting for him. “Ren, what happened to your ship?” Hux says in an all knowing tone. Kylo strides towards the elevator and of course Hux follows, “Send the mechanics to fix it.” Kylo retorts. “No. I was told, similar damages are also in your quarter. You will go to the mechanic sector and speak to the new officer in charge to get everything fixed since you disposed of the last one. You need to get in control of yourself Ren. You're starting to cost the first order more than you're worth.” Hux sneers. This stops Kylo in his tracks, and he turns his mask to look at the general who is trying his best to hide his smirk. Kylo’s hands twitch at his side as he pictures the way he would kill the general. “Unless you would like me to report to Supreme Leader Snoke why you returned from your mission early and empty-handed.” If Kylo’s wasn't wearing a mask, the general would realize he’s about to come undone with anger. Thankfully for the mask and the voice, modulator Kylo’s emotions are hidden. “Fine. The next time you speak to me Hux I suggest fixing your tone before I remove your ability to speak.” Kylo says through clenched teeth. He stomps away from the now smiling general with booming footsteps and a flurry of his cape. Kylo has the entire course to the new engineering officer’s office to stew in his anger, as he stomps down the hallways, the stormtrooper scurry to the side and salute. Kylo holds his head a little bit higher from this. He thrives on their fear of him, knowing he could crush them in the matter of seconds. Finally, arriving at the maintenance office, a man approaches him from the side room. “I need to speak to the man in charge immediately.” Kylo says to the man in a tone dripping with malice. “You ca-can wait in the office Commander Sir, but the person in charge won't be in for 30 more minutes sir.” The pathetic man stumbles through his sentence. What a weakling. Pathetic. One of Kylo’s force abilities is being able to sense emotions and glimpse into weak minds when trying. This man in front of him is two seconds away from pissing his pants and curling into a ball on the floor. Kylo smirks at this. When people fear him, it feeds into his ego, making him feel more powerful. Kylo takes a step towards the man towering over him and watches his eyes widen with fear. “I’ll wait until he comes in.” Kylo goes into the office before the blubbering mess of man replies. While in the office waiting, Kylo has the same feeling of rage from earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let it in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let go.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let the rage in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo’s chest rises and falls in a rapid pace, his hands beginning to twitch with excitement. It's all too much he hasn't fully recovered from earlier, so he has no choice but to let go. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Kylo reopens his eyes to see he's in a small dorm checking room and realizes the room is aboard a First Order Ship. As he looks around further he notices the same woman from the darkness, naked walking to the bathroom. His heart races and his breath quicken, but this time it’s not with rage. He goes to take a step closer when he does; she spins around faster than he expected. Then there's nothing but darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who is that girl? How is she in my head? Where is before in the darkness? She turned around to face me twice. Did she notice me? If she is with the First Order, then she is a traitor. The First Order screens every employee to look for force sensitives.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>With all these additional questions swimming in his head, Kylo storms out of the office without noticing the destruction he caused to the office. As he stomps down the hallway Kylo uses his mental connection with the knights to summon them to meet in the hallway ahead. He needs to discuss this with them. As if the knights were waiting in the nearest hallway, they marched up to him within seconds. He nods to them to follow as they head to the training room. Rounding the hallway, Kylo stops dead in his tracks. The girl she’s in front of him walking around looking at her data pad with fear oozing from her. Without thinking, Kylo reaches out his hand and uses the force to choke her. She grabs at her throat as if that would help. What is more intriguing is she looks right at Kylo and the Knights but doesn't notice them? Kylo increases the pressure on her neck, and she falls to the ground gasping to the point of passing out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Interestingly enough, if she was force sensitive, she would have stopped the force from choking her or at least pushed against it, but she doesn't. So she's not force sensitive or if she is, she doesn't know it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo drops his head, releasing her neck. Kylo uses his connection to the knights to explain and show them what has happened. He left out the part of how he felt witnessed her naked walking away from him. They don't need to know that. All the knights nod and wait for orders. Kylo slowly approaches the girl on the floor as he nears her, she looks up with apologizing eyes and a sweet smile, but that quickly disappears when she notices who he is. Her eyes and lips turn into expressions of pure fear, like a tiny kitten who notices a predator above them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good be afraid little kitten. Once I figure out who and what you are, I'll kill you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And Kylo and reader officially meet yay! Well maybe. I wonder what is up with our poor reader shes very interesting huh?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I'm In Your Head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally we are back to Y/N. Now what trouble could she possible get into? I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you all for reading.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter comes with some Trigger Warnings. I updated the tags so please read through them. I struggled with this chapter so please let me know if you notice anything wrong. As always I appreciate those who read thank you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Beep Beep Beep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What is that insufferable beeping noise?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, Kriff, my head is split. It feels like it's being ripped apart and sewn back together.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit, where am I? What happened to me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I try to open my eyes, but I can't budge them. I try to wiggle my fingers and toes, but I can't. I panic. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why can’t I move? Am I in a coma? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No, you’re not in a coma.” says a man's voice from somewhere. I try to speak to reply but I can’t move my mouth. “You’re heavily sedated, you won't be able to move or speak,” says the voice.</span>
  <em>
    <span> How am I supposed to talk then? How did he know I was wondering about being in a coma? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“The simple answer is, I’m in your head. I took advantage of the fact that you’re unconscious and medicated to get inside your head.” If I could feel my stomach, I know it would twist in knots at what he said.</span>
  <em>
    <span> How are you in my head? Who are you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“You need not worry about that right now. What you need to worry about is that you answer my questions truthfully. Now before you even try to lie, I want you to remember I’m in your head. I’ll know if you’re telling the truth or not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>OK fine can’t you at least tell me who you are, please. Or tell me how you're in my head? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I’m thinking this will be a waste of my time. You’re obviously too stupid to follow directions.” The man says with an agitated tone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I think I would recognize his voice if I knew him. This must be another nightmare. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sighing, the man replies, “You’ve never heard my voice before. Now listen up, stop asking questions and listen to me, or I can make this experience much worse for you.” Seemingly on cue, a deep burning pain covers my head. I try to scream, but I can't. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please stop. I'm sorry I’ll do anything just please stop.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  “Good, now that we are in an understanding, let's begin. Who are you?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>My name is Y/N and I’m an engineer. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Where are you an engineer at?” He asks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I work at a small trading outpost in the Outer Rim </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Tsk Tsk, what did I say about lying?” If I could see his face I know he would smirk from the tone in his voice. The burning pain resumes, except this time worse than imaginable. It's like each of my nerves is being stripped and then set on fire. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I’m sorry! STOP PLEASE! </span>
  </em>
  <span> The pain stops, and he laughs, “Now let's continue shall we?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re a monster! </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Yes, I am” his voice purrs right next to me. “Where do you work?” He asks again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I work for the First Order. I lie because I’m in contractual obligations to not say anything. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Good. See how easy this is when you’re a good girl?” his smirking tone returns. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Do not speak to me that way, I am not a child. I am a prisoner in my mind with you being tortured, the least you could do is respect me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Anything you say little kitten.” He whispers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You asshole. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Where are we? Ah, yes, the first order. How do you like working for them?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I like it just fine. I enjoy my job, I have a place to live. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Are you loyal to the First Order?” He asks.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I have no reason not to be. Who are you? Do you work for the resistance or the republic? Because if you are sorry to inform you, but I am no one important to the First Order. You’ll have better luck torturing a General or something. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“You know that is where you are wrong, kitten, you are more important to the first order than you can imagine.” his tone makes me feel uneasy. It's not an endearing tone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I answered your questions now, please either let me go or at least tell me why you're doing this and who you are? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I'm not done asking you questions yet. If you are a good girl for a bit longer, I’ll answer one question.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>What is wrong with you and these nicknames? You can call me by my name, you know. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Ah kitten, and here I thought we were having fun.” My head explodes with pain. </span>
  <em>
    <span> YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH STOP PLEASE! </span>
  </em>
  <span>The pain stops. “Where are you from? Don’t you worry your pretty little head, this is the last question.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank God then I’ll be free of your psychotic ass. I don't know where I’m from. My earliest memory is of working with a man in a shop helping him fix ships. I don’t even know the name of the planet. As I got older, he sent me on a ship with a group of people, and we bounced from outpost to outpost until one day at one outpost there was a First Order recruitment tent and I went and applied. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Thank you so much for your help. This was enlightening. Now what question would you like answered?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who are you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Oh kitten, I'm someone who is about to know you inside and out. I’m going to know your past, your thoughts, and your deep dark secrets to keep so carefully hidden away.” </span>
  <em>
    <span> What does that mean? You didn't even answer my question? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Until next time Y/N. I’ll be seeing you very soon.” He says and with that my eyes flutter open</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My eyes fully open to be a blinding fluorescent light above me. Flinching away from the light, I look to my right side and realize I’m in a sterilized plain white room. Checking to the left, I see an IV machine pushing fluids into my arm. I try to sit up to get a better look around when a voice says, “Whoa, take it easy there. You’ve been out for a while.” I look down to where my feet are and notice a First Order nurse standing at the foot of the bed, im laying in. I go to speak, but my tongue feels like a desert. “Here sweetie have a drink of this” says the nurse. She walks over to the side of my bed putting a straw in my mouth from a foam cup. I gulped down whatever was in the cup faster than I could figure out what I was even drinking. The cool of the liquid covers my mouth. Sighing, I try to sit up again. “Here let me help you like I said it's been a while.” the nurse says. She reaches her arm out for me to pull myself up with. “Thank you for the help. How long have I been out?” I finally croak out. “Well you passed out in your office last week and you've been in and out of consciousness since then. We performed an X-Ray on you and couldn't find anything wrong. But over your stay here your heart rate would slip to almost nonexistent we thought you were dying. This happened almost nightly.” stated the nurse. My ears started to ring causing me to grip my head to try to alleviate the pain. “What is wrong with my head?” I ask, still wincing in pain. This causes the nurse to be nervous and her posture changes. “Against your doctor's orders it seems Commander Ren needed to question you while you medicated and slept. I'm not aware how the force works but I’m assuming that your headaches have something to do with that.” The nurse meekly states. “Excuse me did you say he questioned me while I was asleep?” I ask. The nurse nods. “Now if you'll excuse me I’m going to get your discharge papers ready.” The nurse says as she opens the door to my medical room and leaves.</span>
  <em>
    <span> It hits me. Commander Ren must've been the man inside my head. What the hell is this dude's problem? I don't know if this is the best decision, but as soon as I get out of the medical wing I’m going to find this monster and ask him what the fuck he wants from me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I'm hit with a chill through the thin medical gown. I head over to the small table in the room to retrieve my clothes. I slip the medical gown down to my feet. I am nude. Before I get the chance to start putting on my clothes, I feel like someone is behind me. I turn around to see it's none other than Commander Ren. “ We have got to stop meeting like this kitten”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Uh oh.... careful everyone don't get too excited I promised a slow burn, enemies to lovers. So we are in this for the long haul. This doesn't mean things cant get a little spicy along the way. (; This chapter leaves off with Y/N standing naked in front of Kylo Ren all of our dreams right? Who ever said this would be a good thing??? Until next time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. From the Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We get to learn some backstory on reader. Yes I did yet again leave you on a cliff hanger. Don't worry it will be worth it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted to try something different with this chapter so I could provide some more back story on reader. I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Wake up Y/N.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid wake up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Groaning, I turn to the side and slowly open my eyes to see Lars standing in front of me. “Ugh, what do you want? It’s not even light out yet.” I groaned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Kid you got to go. Now.” Lars says urgently. He pulls me up by my arm, trying to rush me out of bed. “What do you mean I have to go? Are we leaving for a job?” I asked. I’m still slightly confused with sleep still swirling around in my head. Lars pulls my arm again, pulling me up to stand and face him as he pushes a small pack into my hands. “Y/N this is serious. There are people looking for you in town. I have a ship with a crew of people who owe me. They’re going to take you with them and bounce place to place to get them off your trail.” He urges. Now I’m fully awake. “What do you mean? Who is looking for me? Why do I have to leave?” I beg. I finally just got settled into my life here on Arkanis. I’ve been here for what seems like two years helping Lars manage his shop.  I finally, for the first time in my life, feel like I have a home. I can’t leave. “Damn it girl we don't have time to waste” he says as he pushes me out the door of my room. I push back against his arms and beg “Please I finally am starting to have a life here please don’t make me leave please.” Sighing, he stops and turns me around to look at him. “Kid if there was any other way this could play out I wouldn't make you leave, but unfortunately there isn't any other choice.” His eyes look so miserable. He pats the top of my head and says, “Come on kid, the ship is waiting.” I reluctantly follow him towards the rundown landing pad behind the shop. I don't want to leave this place. The Rust Bucket was where I learned how to be an engineer and mechanic. Lars taught me everything I know and when I learned everything he knew he brought in other guys to teach me more until I could out wire and out build anybody on the planet. The thought of leaving everything behind turns my stomach into a pit of despair. I trudge through the back doors with Lars, and I see a small cargo ship in the landing pad that doesn't appear like it could leave the atmosphere if it tried. “Can this thing even leave the planet?” I ask Lars, giving him a skeptical look. He opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, a voice rings out from the ship. “Hey now I take offense to that. She may not look like much, but she might as well be the Millennial Falcon with the speed this baby gets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I look over to see a man standing on the ramp of the ship. He’s a young guy with curly brown hair and a scruffy beard, wearing a leather jacket. Leaning up against the side of the ship, he looks me up and down. “You compare this flying space junk to the Millennial Falcon” I scoff. This makes him stand upright and walk down the ramp to stand in front of me. Before he has time to defend his space junk, Lars cuts in. “Kids please we don't have time. I don't know how many times I have to stress the urgency that you leave now Y/N.” with a reminder of the issue at hand, the man looks to Lars and says, “I’ll get the ship started and our signal scrambled, so we aren't traced.” With that, he turns around and heads inside the ship. I look back to Lars, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over in my eyes. “I don't want to leave. This is my home.” I beg him. “I know kid but you don't know what's after you, who these people are. They’ll kill you. You're special, never forget that.” He whispers. He moves a hand to the top of my head and ruffles my hair. “Please, kid, go. Don’t make this any harder.” Pleads Lars. “Don’t forget to pick up the power converters next week.” I sniffle out. I turn towards the ship and move towards it, turning around to look at Lars for one last goodbye. I might’ve been imagining it, but I could’ve sworn I saw him wipe away a tear. He waves his hands, motioning for me to board the ship. I trudge up the ramp and board the ship. Once I’m in the ship, I look around to see two men and a woman sitting at a table playing Sabacc. The man who I first spoke to is nowhere to be seen. The ramp raises up and the floor of the ship rattles. The woman sitting at the table says to me, “Might wanna take a seat, take off is a little rough.” She is in head to toe black armor. But her voice was gentle. Taking her advice, I go to look for a seat and find myself in the cockpit with the man from earlier. “Mind if I sit here?” I ask him, pointing to the copilot seat. “Only if you know what you’re doing.” He replies. “I don’t know much, but I at least know how to put in coordinates for hyperspace.” I say back to him. Thankfully, this is something Lars taught me. Thinking back to Lars creates tears that threaten to spill out from my eyes. I’ll never see him again. I’ll never see the Rust Bucket again. I look out the window in front of me to see Lars heading back inside the Rust Bucket. The ship slowly rises. I watch Lars disappear through the door along with everything I called home. The ship rises higher and higher. But before we are about to take off towards the atmosphere, I see Lars walk back out the door. “WAIT!” I yell to the pilot. “Listen I can only stall in the air for so long hurry and say your goodbyes.” He says back to me annoyed. I continue to watch Lars as he walks out, motioning to something in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I get a chill at the back of my neck; it crawls up to the back of my head and down my spine. “We have to land. Something isn’t right.” I hurriedly say to the pilot, I don’t know why I think this but I just do everything in my body is telling me something is wrong. “Listen here, I can’t do that. I promised Lars I’d get you off the planet and from my understanding you got some people looking for you, so I can’t land.” The pilot says. I continue to watch Lars, ignoring the pilot. I know something is happening. I lean forward over the control panel to get a better look below. That’s when I see it. Four people or robots I’m not sure striding out all with guns pointed at Lars. I can’t tell what they are because they’re dressed fully in thick black armor. My heart races and ice streams through my veins. “LAND NOW THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!” I scream. “If I land, they'll kill us all! Those are normal blasters they’re carrying.” He shouts back. The tears stream down my face as I watch Lars hopelessly from above. Another thing dressed in all black comes out. Two of the others push Lars down to his knees. “Don’t watch.” The pilot warns. “Please take off, I can’t watch this.” I beg him. “I can’t. If I do, they'll notice us and track us before I can get our signal scrambled.” He says back. I look over at him and his brown eyes are filled with sadness. “I’m telling you, don’t watch. There’s nothing down there you’re going to want to watch.” He reaches over and puts a hand on my arm, trying to comfort me. Something tells me I need to look down. I can’t stop my head from turning and glancing down, and as soon as I do the armored being that came out of the door of the Rust Bucket last pulls out a red glowing sword and in a swift motion cuts off Lars's head. His lifeless body topples to the ground and the things in armor turn and walk away. “LARS NO!” I scream. The pilot comes behind and pulls me away from the window and I collapse into his arms, crying. “They murdered him, those things murdered him!” I cry into his chest. He puts a hand on the top of my bed and begins rubbing the back of my head. “Shh I know. You’re going to be okay.” He whispers. He pulls me into a tight hug. “What’s your name, kid? And how old are you?” He asks me, “It’s Y/N and I’m 16. What about you?” I sniffle out. I pull back from him to study his face. “The name is Poe. Everything is going to be alright Y/N.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Poe, but I just watched the closest person I've had to a father get beheaded by armored beings, and I have to leave everything I know behind. Also, apparently I’m being hunted down and I do not understand why, so I can’t fathom how any of this will be okay.” I breathlessly say to him. I pull out of his arms and slump down in the copilot seat. I wipe away my tears and take a few deep breaths to calm myself. “Y/N I know it doesn't seem like it right now but you’ll never know how things will turn out so things could go well for you.” Poe says as he walks back over to the pilot seat. “Hey, what's going on? I heard yelling.” The woman from earlier says. “Everything is fine, Zorii. We are starting the rest of takeoff. Can you have Rich start scrambling our signal?” Poe asks her. “Sure thing. Don’t forget to check in with base before we start the run.” she says as she walks away, leaving the cockpit. Poe pushes buttons and pull levers to get the ship going. Finally, we head towards space. “So what are you guys going to do with me?” I ask Poe. I haven't thought much about what to do from here. I have no home, no family and no friends. I have nowhere to go. “I’m assuming you have no money and Lars only asked me to get you off the planet, so I actually don't know. You’re welcome to work with us and go on some runs. As I'm sure you can tell the ship isn't in the best condition, so we could use someone with your talents aboard. Or I could drop you off at the nearest out post or planet. It's your choice.” He replies, shrugging. “What kind of cargo do you guys deliver?” I ask. As long as they're not in the business of selling slaves I’m okay with it. “Um, well, we deliver stuff that can be turned into medicine.” he says. “You’re Spice runners, aren't you?” I ask. This actually doesn't surprise me. Lars was always in the business of fixing ships for “Mind your business.” kind of people. “Yea, yea, whatever you wanna call it.” he grins. I chuckle and stare at the vast emptiness of the space ahead of us. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I will find out why I am being hunted and what those things were that killed Lars. I will find them and I will kill every last one of them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know in the comments if you did. Next chapter we will be right back where I left you all hanging, naked with Kylo Ren (;. Ah Ah but remember what I said this will be a slow burn. Don't worry this chapter was important because big things will be happening down the line. Any ideas comment down below. Until next time!<br/>So guys I'm currently writing chapter six and it's going to be a long one. I'm going to making the next chapters a lot longer so I hope you guys enjoy! If you guys have any request let me and I'll do my best to fit them in! With the chapters being longer I'm going to have to post once a week but I'll try to to post Bi-weekly.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Playing With Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There is some pretty graphic descriptions in this chapter so please read the tags. reader and Kylo finally have a long over do conversations but it puts us back right where we started.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I took a little longer to write this chapter because I am planning to make the chapters longer. I hope you enjoy this! I only proof read twice so I'm sorry for any mistakes but I was too excited to wait to post! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Kitten!? What the fuck… WHAT THE FUCK!?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Commander Ren stands in front of the closed door of the medical room. The cold air from the room stings my skin, reminding me of how exposed I am. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit… I’m naked. </span>
  </em>
  <span>My hands fly to cover my chest and my pelvic area, trying to cover as much as possible. “Excuse me, Commander, but you need to leave. I mean this with the most respect possible.” I say to him in my most demanding tone. In response, he just stares at me in silence. A weird energy is coming off of him. It feels like fog circling and filling every crevice of this tiny room, it's almost suffocating.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Okay, apparently my decency is off the table.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I start to slowly step backwards towards the medical bed, looking for anything to cover myself with. I reached behind me using the hand that was covering my breast, deciding I'd rather him see my breast than my vagina and grab the thin sheet from bed. This whole time his mask has never left me. Slowly following every movement I make. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What a creep. I hope you're enjoying the show.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>With the sheet in my hand, I try to wrap it around my frame without showing anything more than I already have. With my naked body finally covered and some of my decency recovered, I look back at the commander with anger in my eyes, grinding my teeth.  “What did you mean we got to stop meeting like this?” The anger palpable in my voice. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I am sick and tired of this damn man. He may be the commander of the first order, but there is no way he’s allowed to do this. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I again get no response from the Commander. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am not going back down this time. I was a blubbering mess in front of him the last time. I will not let that happen this time. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I stare him down with a new resolve. The hulking man dressed head to toe in black does not back down under my stare. I say “Again I mean this with respect, sir, but could you please either answer my questions or leave my room, so I can get dressed.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good job y/n. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The Commander swiftly steps towards me with his booming footsteps echoing off the metal floor, crossing the tiny medical room in less than three steps, his cape flurrying behind him. Trying to put some space between our sudden closeness, I try to back up, but my legs and arm feel like they are being held in place by an invisible force. Keep control of yourself. Don’t show fear. Don’t look weak in front of him. If I survive this, I am going straight to the command center to report him.  I look up to his mask and stare at him where I believe his eyes to be challenging him with my stare. I know I am playing with fire here, but I see no other way to get him to leave me alone. I must play his game. My heart is beating out of my chest with anticipation of what he might do. He reaches a hand up to my face and reaches a curled finger out, touching the side of my cheek. I try to flinch away from his touch, but my body is still frozen in place. “Don’t you dare touch me.” I spit out with venom. I clench my teeth, hoping he can feel my jaw muscles tightening under his finger. A static noise comes from his mask that almost sounds like a scoff. He continues to drag his finger down my cheek to my neck, leaving my skin tingling from the sensation. My confidence is fleeting as I realize how my body's reaction to the touch. Bile rises from my stomach, but I swallow it back down. I will not let him notice what he is doing to me. My heart beats even faster, causing my hands to sweat from the anxiety. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m panicking now. I do not want him touching me, but in this situation there's nothing I can do. He’s holding me hostage and I can't do anything to stop it. My chest tightens and I can't get a full breath of air into my lungs. No No No, not again. Please anything but this please. Trying not to tremble, I continue to stare him down with a look I can only hope is threatening. “I’m telling you again, Commander. Do Not Touch Me.” I say with clenched teeth. I hope my voice comes out as strong as it sounded in my head. “Hm little kitten. Do you really think you’re in control here? Do you really think you can tell me what to do?” His robotic voice says as he looks down at my chest, lightly dragging his finger down the rest of my neck, tracing the top edge of the sheet just above my breasts. Goosebumps cover my skin and I try to fight off a shiver from his touch. “Why do you keep calling me that? You can't do this to me.” I say, my voice wavering. Keep your composure. Do not let your fear show. “I can’t do this? And what is this you think I'm doing, hm?” He acknowledges. While continuously dragging his gloved finger along the top of the sheet. I’m trying to keep my breathing calm, but I can’t, I shiver all the way into my bones. “I don’t want you touching me. You can’t treat people like this, I'll report you.” I say to him. I can’t hold his stare any longer. My confidence falters. I look down to watch his gloved finger on my chest, but I can still feel the heat from his gaze looking down at me. “Hm, file a report, then if you’re having an issue with your commanding officer. You seem a little cold there.” He says that's when I notice what he sees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My nipples are poking through the sheet from the cold of the room. A static noise emits from Commander Ren’s mask. His shoulders tense up, and he removes his hand from my chest, lowering it to his side and clenches his hands into a fist. I’m scared of what he's about to do. I try to shy away from him, but with my body still frozen in place, I’m a prisoner to him. This time I can almost feel the energy keeping me in place. It feels like a thick cloud forcing my hands to my sides and my feet plastered to the ground.</span>
  <em>
    <span> What is this? I’ve never noticed or felt anything like this before. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The energy surrounding us in the room suddenly changes into a numbing sensation. It starts at my fingertips and toes, creeping up my legs and arms.</span>
  <em>
    <span> It feels like I’ve been sedated.  Could this still be the effects from the medicine earlier? </span>
  </em>
  <span>The numbing sensation reaches my brain. My entire body feels relaxed and numb, the only feeling I have is a slight tingling sensation covering my skin. My head feels sluggish and hazy, my thoughts come at a sluggish pace.The room around me slowly disappears from my vision as the feeling of thick energy fog circles around us. “What are you doing to me? Did you drug me?” I slur, tilting my head up to look at Commander Ren's mask. All he does is tilt his head and watch me in response. As I try to focus on my breathing to calm it and to regain some sense, I notice that Commander Ren’s chest is moving rapidly. He takes another step towards me, forcing our chest to touch. “What are you doing to me?” I slur out again. I try to bring my eyes to meet his again, but they droop down. “Hm. Now this is interesting.” He says, not to me but to himself. I feel so helpless. I’m so terrified of what he's going to do to me.</span>
  <em>
    <span> This isn't a man, he's a monster.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I feel a ghostly feeling of pressure crawling up my back until it reaches the back of my head. This is different from the energy in the room, this feels like I’m being touched. The ghostly pressure changes into the feeling of fingers. The ghostly fingers rub up the back of my neck, making the muscles in my neck relax. It moves up from my neck, moving to my hair. It combs through my hair, sending goosebumps down my back. My body and head are still being affected by the drugged feeling, so I can't quite tell if this is happening or not. “What is it you think I’m doing to you, Y/N?” He whispers. The ghostly fingers then grip the hair at the back of my head with force, pulling downwards, making my head snap back, forcing me to stare at the ceiling. I yelp in surprise “Pl-please don't hurt me anymore please. I guess you’re using the force on me, but I don't know! I barely know anything about it!” I beg him I can no longer see him, but I can feel his body heat in front of me. I feel him move away from me. Then all there is, is silence. The room gets so eerily quiet it's almost loud. Then I hear his footsteps on the ground, from what I can tell he’s moving behind me but staying out of my vision. Fear shoots through my veins like an icy river. My head is not fully sobered up, the cloud of haze is lifted. My racing heart almost comes to a stop at the thought of how vulnerable I am like this to a predator like Kylo Ren. My iron will of staying strong is completely gone, and the realization of what I just said hits me.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span> He’s using the force on me… That is what this is!</span>
  </em>
  <span> The ghostly pressure swirls around my body like water searching for a crack in a dam. “Are you scared?” He asks me, his voice coming from somewhere behind me. I don't want him to do anything to me, especially since I don't know where he is, so I decide to continue to play his game. “Of course I would fear a monster who has done nothing but hurt me since the first time I saw you. You have me trapped here, naked and defenseless.” I hear something hit the ground lightly and I try to move my head to see, but the invisible force takes an even stronger hold of me. The fear of the unknown of what's happening behind me is driving me mad. “Don't move or this is going to hurt you a lot more than it will hurt me. Do everything as I say and stay still, and you will leave this room alive.” I gulp, the feeling of the motion hurts. I feel the pressure loosen on the grip of my hair, but before I can move it pushes my head forward, forcing me to look directly in front of me and regains a tight hold of my head, not allowing me to look around. My sight of the room in front of me returns, but with my head held in place the only thing I can see is the sterile white walls and the closed door of the medical room in front of me. I try to move my head again to look behind me on an instinct. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“WHAT DID I SAY. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND SIMPLE DEMANDS?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He roars with anger as he yells and I feel his hand grip the back of my neck so hard that it feels like he could snap my neck in half with one move.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Wait, is that skin? Does he not have his gloves on?! Now I’ve messed up. I need to fix this unless I want to die. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I'm just scared. I’m frozen in place, and I don’t know what's going on!” I cry to him through clenched teeth. Every alarm in my brain sounds off. The grip of his on my neck presses on the pressure points below my ears, causing a sharp pain to flow through my jaw. His hand is big enough, it almost engulfs my entire neck. I glare at the door ahead of me, trying to keep tears from falling out of my eyes. I’ve never felt so helpless before. “You fear me, rightfully so, but from my point of view you are in no position to not listen to me. Move again and I’ll cut you down where you stand.” He retorts.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Cut me down!? Shit, I forgot about the laser sword. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why won't you leave me alone? I've done nothing to you! I was just trying to start my first day in my new position, and then you walked into my life and ruined everything!” I yelled at him. I’m trying so hard to move my body, but the invisible hold is too strong. Tears trickle out of my eyes from pain and frustration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He lowers his hand from my neck but keeps his fingers on my skin. He trails his fingers down from the base of my neck to the small of my back, eliciting a shiver from deep within me. I almost jump out of my skin when a loud hissing noise comes from behind my back. “Now that's where you're wrong. You’ve done more to me than almost anyone in my entire life. You are the one who ruined everything for yourself by showing yourself to me that night.” He says, but this time I hear anger in his deep voice. Voice? Oh, my god, his voice! He took off the mask. This is bad. No one has ever seen him without the mask,  he’s going to kill me. </span>
</p><p><span>I want to talk. I want to ask him what the hell he means, but I can’t find my voice. This whole situation is surreal, I can't even form proper thoughts. Momentarily forgetting about the situation at hand, I get lost in my head.</span><em><span> There’s something about his voice, it's familiar, but I can't quite place it. Where have I heard it? </span></em><span>He must’ve noticed that I was lost in a train of thought because he asks. “Now I want you to tell me how are you doing this and how are you keeping me out? It’s in your best interest to tell me now because what you felt in your head earlier is nothing compared to what will happen to you now.” He says. His voice is so deep and full of emotion, unfortunately, for me that emotion is anger. Snapping out of my thoughts, I say, “I have no idea what you’re even talking about. Are you delusional or are you deliberately ignoring that I’m clueless here?” I am getting frustrated. He keeps asking me the same questions and I keep telling him the same answers. This is going nowhere. For a split-second of freedom the forces holding over my body is removed, the weight of it is removed from me. I didn't realize how heavy the force felt on my skin. I sigh. Just as I suck in a breath, my throat closes off. The air is ripped from my lungs, burning my throat on its way out, like someone had reached down my throat and vacuumed out all the air. No longer caring about my nakedness, I dropped the sheet that was covering me. I move my hands to my throat, trying to ease some pain, but it only gets worse. I can feel the tissues of my lungs rubbing together as I try to suck down any air that I can. But there is none. It’s as if I was shot out into the vacuum of space. </span><em><span>This son of a bitch. It’s him doing this.</span></em><span> “Why do you face me yourself without your force tricks? Coward!” I choke out to him with the last ounce of air I have. My throat feels like sandpaper from saying the last words. I can taste a metallic taste in my mouth. “No.” he says in a careless tone. Then a searing pain forms at my temples, feeling like someone is trying to drill inside my head. I fall to the ground, landing harshly on my knees. I open my mouth, letting out a silent scream of agony. The drilling feeling stops almost instantly but is quickly replaced with the feeling of invisible fingers scraping against my brain. Then all the pain stops. I gasp, sucking in all the oxygen that I can, filling my starved lungs in fear of the air being taken away from me again. My mouth fills with metallic liquid, causing me to choke during my gasping. I lean forward and spit on the floor, only to see it’s all blood. I feel liquid by my nose dripping out. Using my hand to wipe away what I thought was tears just to see its blood</span><em><span>.Holy shit. I’m dying. </span></em><span>My head is pounding, forcing me to close my eyes as the fluorescent lights in the room are now too bright. I realized during the entire time my hearing had gone out as the sounds of crying filled my ears</span><em><span>. Who is crying? </span></em><span>Feeling wetness hit my bare legs. I look down and see that it's me who is crying.</span><em><span> RUN! </span></em><span>A foreign voice screams in my head, making me flinch.</span> <span>Before I have time to move, the drilling pain returns to my head, this time on my temples and the back of my skull. I close my eyes and pull my hands up to my ears. I can’t take this, something is digging into my head. I let out a wailing cry, only for it to be silenced by something being shoved into my mouth with the taste of leather. My hands are ripped away from my head and pulled behind my back. I can’t tell if the hands that grabbed my arms are real or not. I don't even realize that the drilling has stopped inside my head. I’m so disoriented from the pain I’m not even sure of what's going on any more.</span> <span>My arms and legs are numb now, and all I can tell is that my arms are being held behind my back. I dangle my head forward towards the ground, unable to hold the weight of my head up. Sweat drips down my face and the neck dropping onto the floor. All I can hear now is ringing in my ears.</span></p><p>
  <span>I slowly try to open my eyes. Looking down on the floor, I see a small puddle of blood forming from my face. I notice trickles of blood dripping down from both sides of my head along with my nose and mouth. My arms are released from behind my back, making me almost fall forward onto my face. I place my hands on the ground in front of me to brace myself. I am now sitting on my news and hands hunched over. Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice a movement. I try to focus more on it, to see the legs of Ren slowly walk out from behind me and move towards in front of me until he’s directly in front of me. “LOOK AT ME!” He screams. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to move my head. My entire body feels like mush. My head is pounding and I can hear the rushing of my blood in my ears. The commander reaches a bare hand down and grabs my chin. Trying to force my head up. “I said look at me now, you traitor!” He yells again. My head is too heavy to move, my brain feels like it's filled with lead, and my head is dropped back down. Kylo Ren lets out a guttural scream. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kylo Ren pacing back and forth when suddenly a loud crackling noise comes from him, I clamp my eyes shut just trying to escape this hell I've been placed into. Through my shut eyes, I see a bright light take place off to my left. Too afraid to even move, I stay in place, my entire body is covered in sweat causing me to shiver from the freezing room. I hear the screeching noise of metal being ripped apart. I can hear Kylo Ren scream the noise. Suddenly all the noise is the room stops other than crackling noise. The smell of toxic smoke fills my nose, making me cough. My throat still burns, with even more coughing I spit up on the ground. Slowly, I open my eyes to look down at the metal floor in between my hands to see I’ve coughed up more blood. “I said look at me.” Kylo Ren demands from off to my side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not feeling up to talking, I slowly shook my head no, which was a near impossible feat. I keep my eyes trained on the ground below me. I hear his pounding footsteps walk towards me. I try to scoot over and cower under the medical bed to my right, but I can barely move. Every ounce of energy I had is gone. “You’re so pathetic, look at you trying to crawl away. You pathetic traitorous bitch.” he spits at me. I can't take this anymore. I bring my knees up to my chest and put my head on top of my knees, covering my head with my arms. </span>
  <em>
    <span> I can't do this. I can't respond. I give up.</span>
  </em>
  <span> This revelation makes me cry even harder. My throat burns so bad, my head is pounding, it feels like it's going to burst my eyes out of my head. I just want to die. Death would be better than what is happening right now. “You know I can take what I want, right?” He says down to me. I can hear the sadistic smile in his voice. “Fu...ck you. You’re a... monster. If you... could take what you want, then... why can’t you get inside my he-....” I slowly gasp out to him. Struggling on every word. As I say this, I look up to him to see the look on his face for taunting him one last time, but what I find catches me off guard. He is towering over me, but that's not what surprises me. What surprises me is his face. He's a young man who looks similar in age to me, with shoulder-length wavy black hair that's glued to his head with sweat. Beauty marks dot across his face like a constellation of murderous intent. He has beautiful full lips, and a sharp nose which is dripping blood. His eyes are a beautiful shade of brown. As I'm looking at his eyes, I notice that under his right eye a tiny muscle is twitching.</span>
  <em>
    <span> At least I’m not the only one who looks like shit right now.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “What the fuck did you say to me?” he seethes. His chin trembled with anger. Before I have time to respond, the door to my medical room slams open. Both of our heads snapping to look at the door in unison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurse who was here when I woke up has just come in and is now standing there with a look of terror on her face at the sight before her. A maskless Commander Ren and naked girl curled up at his feet both with blood dripping from their faces. “I’m so sorry I didn't know I heard a commotion, and I wanted to check on…” Without giving her the chance to respond, Kylo Ren reaches his hand out, pulling the nurse to him like an invisible rope was attached to her. With his other hand, he flicks it out, causing the door to slam shut. Holding the nurse up in the air by her throat, Kylo Ren looks down at me. “Do you see what you have done? This is all your fault. Her blood is now on your hands.” He says to me. I stare at him with pure fear and shock on my face, unable to even speak or move. He lifts her higher in the air with her face above his. She tries to pry his hand off her throat with her hands, but it's a worthless attempt. She kicks her legs out trying to do anything to escape, but it's no match for his strength. I stare at his face with horror as I see his eyes gleaming with excitement. He reaches his hand down to his side and pulls out a cross shaped black tube. </span>
  <em>
    <span>CLOSE YOUR EYES NOW!</span>
  </em>
  <span> But I don't take this warning seriously. I continue watching Kylo Ren in a trance like state. The Black tube ignites red spitting flames from the top and sides. I look to the nurse to see the red light reflecting in her eyes and see nothing but fear and helplessness. As I continue to stare into her eyes, I notice Kylo Ren moving. I glance at his flaming sword just to see him plunge it deep into her chest coming out at her back. All the fear in her eyes is replaced with dull lifelessness. He throws down her lifeless body onto the floor in front of me. I watch her lifeless body slam down to the ground. At the sight in front of me I feel an eerie calm wash over me, I feel nothing, all my emotions are gone. I feel empty. Kylo Ren turns towards me “Now it’s your turn.” He says walking towards me stepping over the nurse’s lifeless body with a wild look in his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be brave Y/N, this is not the end of your story but merely the beginning.</span>
  </em>
  <span> With this warning, I find myself at peace with my impending death from the laser sword wielding maniac. I looked up into his eyes, pushing a big smile onto my face. It’s finally over. I see the look of surprise flash across his face, but his eyes stay determined. I close my eyes, still smiling, taking a deep breath, coming to terms with what is about to happen. Then it happens, I feel the heat before I feel the pain. The skin melting heat burning my skin. I swear I could almost hear my skin sizzle. Then the actual pain hits as I assume his flaming sword plunges through my chest burning everything inside. Before I can even scream, the darkness takes over. There is no pain, only darkness.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know if you guys liked the longer chapter or would you rather have shorter chapters! I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as i did writing it. Leave a comment if you have any questions or if you just want to talk about it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. They're Listening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Will we finally have some questions about reader answered or will we be left with more questions than before?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I re wrote this chapter three separate time because I just didn't like it, but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting so I am posting it! I will still be fixing some grammar issues and touching it up. I really hope you enjoy thank you for still reading.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The pain is gone, but I am still conscious. I try to open my eyes to look around, but I can't open them. The room is silent. Reaching my hands up to my chest and abdomen to feel for the wound but I feel nothing but the fabric of my clothes, but the clothes aren't what I was wearing. I force my eyes open to get a better look at my surroundings, but all I see is darkness. Rubbing my eyes, I try to blink to see if I can clear my eyes, but there is still only darkness. Glancing down at my legs, I notice I am sitting down with my legs crossed underneath me, but I am no longer naked. I am dressed in what looks like black spandex and a black fitted tank top. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What is going on? Is this death? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I told you this isn't the end of your story but merely the beginning.” A voice mused from the darkness. The strange thing about the voice was, it was almost identical to my own, but something didn't sound right. My ears, which puts me on edge, also heard it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s no way I just physically heard my thoughts aloud. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I glance around me again just to be sure I’m alone, and I am. Except now in the darkness, a metal wall has appeared in front of me. I’m mentally exhausted from this whole situation, so the best plan of action I believe is to stay sitting right here. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I must be dreaming. This is strange. Okay, get it together y/n wake up, you can do this, just wake up. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I try mentally get myself together to wake up, but nothing happens. I do the only thing I could think of. I slap myself on the side of my face. “Wake up.” Another smack. “WAKE UP!” I scream, but nothing happens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “I would advise against doing that right now.” The eerie voice that is my own yet not my own chimes out from somewhere within the darkness. I, no longer have the emotional capacity to deal with this anymore. Everything that has happened to me in my last conscious 24 hours is too much. Whatever is going on right now doesn’t even register on my stress radar. Strange radar yes, but scary no. “Okay, I’ve already had enough of this. Who is there?” I exclaim. “Can’t you tell? I’m you.” The voice says except this time it sounds even less like my voice, still female, but all the familiarity is gone. The voice sounds like it’s coming from all around me. The fact that I can physically hear the voice proves it’s not me. Or does it? “I know myself and I know my voice. At first, you sounded like me, but now your voice is entirely different. So I know you are not me.” I say a matter-of-factly out loud. If I’m wrong about this, then I am going crazy. No longer wanting to feel vulnerable with the darkness surrounding me, I step towards the metal wall that materialized in front of me earlier. I turn around and step back to the wall until my back touches it. Now that I have my backside covered, I feel slightly better. Being backed up against the wall gives me a chance to inspect it slightly. I look up and notice the wall stretches so high in the darkness it disappears. Scanning from left to right, I notice the wall stretches further than my eyesight can see. This is strange. What could this possibly be? I place my palms against the wall and the feeling of cold metal surprises me. I was almost expecting it to be a figment of my imagination that would dissipate as soon as I touched it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Questions swirl around in my head. I realize I haven't heard the voice respond to what I said. “Hello? Weird voice, are you still there?” I question out into the darkness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm. You are entertaining. Where was this bravery earlier?” The voice rings. All the remaining hints of my mimicked voice are gone. The only voice to be heard now is new. I’m doing my best to keep my unbothered facade on, but the changing of the voice unsettles me more than it mimics my voice. That the voice is referring to earlier unnerves me. Could this really be more of Kylo Ren’s torture? “Show yourself.” I say. I’m not sure why I am choosing to be brave, but the thought of this being a dream or all in my head is fueling me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An icy chill forms at my feet and crawls up my legs until it reaches my chest, placing an icy grip on my heart. Icy blood shoots through my veins. “Do not mistake my interest in you for weakness. You have no idea who I am and you could not fathom what I could do to you.” The voice threatens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My bravery falters. Shrinking into myself, I lean fully against the metal wall. Focusing my breathing into my nose and out through my mouth. “If you would show yourself, then maybe I would know about you.” I say. The wall behind me rumbles as if something is attempting to knock it down. The chill instantly leaves my body, losing the grip on my heart, leaving me breathless. “We are wasting time with this pointless conversation. There are more pressing matters that we have to deal with.” the voice. I'm assuming the voice is referring to what barely happened to the wall, but that makes me uneasy. The voice itself scares me, but if what just happened to the wall worries the voice, I have a reason to worry.  Who is this? I still need to find out who this is. Maybe she knows what is going on. The voice speaks before I have a chance to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, listen to me now. I will formally introduce myself to you at a later time. We are in your mind behind a block I placed. As I’m sure you remember, Kylo Ren stabbed you, that happened. You are significantly injured, in which doctors have placed you into a medically induced coma.” While she is dumping all this on me, I am shocked. “I'm going to stop you there. We are in my head? Behind a block? I’m in a coma? You can’t just mention that like it's no big deal, please tell me what's going on.” I beg. As soon as I say this the icy chill attaches itself all around me yet again. Exactly as it does, the pounding on the wall resumes echoing around in the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y/N, you need to stop with the questions. Everything you are questioning will be answered if you just shut up and listen.” The voice angrily says. Hurt stings deep inside of me. Sighing aloud, she says, “We are both in grave danger here. You stumbled into something you were never supposed to know anything about. Everything that has now been set into motion will have catastrophic effects of the universe. They were never supposed to notice you. The dark force users are now intrigued by you and everything I have done to protect that has blown up. I have placed something here behind this wall in your mind that needs to be protected, and now Kylo Ren has figured out there is something hidden here. If he breaches this wall, everything is over. Do not let him in. Do not let anyone in. They are always trying to listen and get in the weaker you are the easier it is for them to get in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell. What the hell is she talking about, this isn't real. I glance around me to see what she is talking about being hidden, but there is nothing here but me and the wall. “Wait, I don't understand, please explain. How do I stop him? Why do I need to do this?” I ask. A sharp pain forms at the base of my neck. The pain shoots through my skin, attaching to every nerve in my body. I can no longer speak aloud to you. They are right outside. You will know what to do. Trust me. The fate of the universe lays in your hands. I must go now. We will speak again. Be strong. She speaks to me again, but this time her voice is back to mimicking mine from within my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don't go.” I beg. The searing pain from my neck continues to flow through my body like electricity. The wall rumbles even louder. The metal lets out a shrieking noise that thunders around my head, hurting my ears, causing me to cover them with my hands. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. A pressure forms at the front of my forehead. It starts as a dull pain. The louder the rumbling noise gets, the worse the pain gets in my head. My legs give out from underneath me, making me drop to my knees. “STOP!” I scream out. But the pain doesn't stop. I scream out in pain from the pressure when it suddenly stops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> A white light slowly forms in front of my eyelids. The bright light from behind my eyelids sends a jolt of pain through my temples. Freezing air bites my skin, triggering a shiver from within my body from the temperature. I slowly blink my eyes open, squinting through the bright light. Through my squinted eyes, I realize I’m in an unfamiliar room. I notice I’m laying on my back staring up at the light above me. What I am laying on feels firm and icy, but I can’t move any part of my body to look around or sit up. From what I can tell, my head, arms, and legs are being forced in place by something wrapped around them. Panic rises through me as I connect the dots on what is happening to me. I’m strapped down on metal in a different room than where I was stabbed.  Maybe the voice was right. The memory of getting stabbed flashes through my mind again. I swallow down the spit forming in my mouth from panic, making a sharp pain come from my chest. I wince. Testing the water again I suck in a deep breath causing my chest lungs to feel like they're being ripped apart. I cry out.“I would suggest taking it easy if you want to live.” I hold my breath in fear. It’s him. “Hm, you're still scared of me good. I was worried that during your brief vacation you would lose your memory of me. It’s good to see it’s still perfectly intact.” He gloats. He is not wearing his mask. I open my mouth to respond, but the process causes my throat to feel like it's erupting in flames. The only noise that leaves my mouth is a slight squeak. Tears spring out from the sides of my eyes, dripping back to my ears. I hear footsteps approach me from the left side. The booming footsteps get louder, echoing around the room until they stop right next to me. Something blocks the light from above my face. I blink my eyes to get them to adjust to the shade. When my eyes focus I'm faced with Kylo Ren leaning his face over me. What scares me even more is that he is smiling, but it is not a friendly smile. There is nothing but hatred and evil swirling around in his eyes. I try to look away, forgetting that my head is being held in place. “I have some interesting information that I have learned about you y/n. It seems you have had an unlucky upbringing. That's not the best part, though, I have learned what you are.” As he says the last words, his smile widens. I am terrified to my core. I stare up to his eyes with my widening in fear. A knock from across the room breaks the silence, causing Kylo Ren to turn his head. “The Supreme Leader is ready now.” A voice says. No. Now this can’t be. Kylo slowly turns his head, glancing back down to me. His hair falling down from his shoulders. “Everything you are keeping hidden is now about to be uncovered.” he says as he straightens up. “Bring her. She is coming with.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So reader seems to be in some trouble on her first day huh? Im excited to see where this story goes! I've never written anything before but I felt inspired! A warning though this will be a slow burn. Depending how the story goes I may make a second one.<br/>As a reminder there will also be unhealthy relationships in this story and if you or someone you know is in a unhealthy relationship here are some resources. The domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)<br/>https://www.medicinenet.com/domestic_violence/article.htm#domestic_violence_facts<br/>These types of relationships should only be enjoyed through fiction.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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